In the middle of the journey of my life I awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost. – Dante Alighieri
The precocious young manager of West Ham was out of a job, with all the time in the world to wallow in self-pity.
The owner of the AFC Richmond Football Club wondered if she, the only female in the room, had the courage and capability to convince a bunch of jaded, rich old men not to do a deal with the devil.
The hit series from AppleTV, Ted Lasso, has produced a stunning number of memorable scenes, quotes and quips one can watch endlessly on social media. The one that resonated with me most powerfully was from season 3, episode 10, entitled “International Break.” Beautifully weaving through multiple storylines of a nifty ensemble cast, director Matt Lipsey harmonizes two storylines in particular, thematically and musically, resulting in exquisite drama.
Manager Nate Shelley coached West Ham United to first place in the Premier League. And yet, this self-proclaimed “wonder kid,” who vacillates between domineering arrogance and simpering inadequacy, finds himself unceremoniously dumped by his football club’s owner. Out of a job, Nate finds safety and solitude at his parents’ home. He sees his childhood self in old photo albums. He picks at toys. He pulls a violin out of its case….and begins to play.
Across town, Rebecca Welton is in a room with owners of other successful team owners. The only woman in the room, she wonders how she can stand up to them, convince them not to form a Super League of football teams, not to give in to their kneejerk desire to make massively more money at the expense of the everyday football fan.
A very new member to the nouveau super-riche, Edwin Akufu, believes that a Super League of the very best football clubs will be the superior product that will yield riches beyond the owners’ imaginations. But as Nate plays the violin, rediscovering his love for music, Rebecca recalls that these old men were once little boys – little boys who loved the game not for the wealth it brings to the few, but for the joy it brings to the many.
How much more money do any of you really need? Why would you ever consider taking something away from people that means so much to them. This isn’t a game. Football isn’t just a game. It’s one of those amazing things in life that can make you feel shit one moment, and then like it’s Christmas morning the next. It has the ability to make heroes and villains out of ordinary men. People love this game. My father loved this game. You all used to love this game. I’m sure of it.
In this stunning 5-minute segment, the director tells two separate stories of people, lost amidst their desire to optimize and maximize, but found in the end.
“Work…is a place you can lose yourself more easily perhaps than finding yourself,” wrote poet David Whyte, in his book, The Three Marriages: Reimaging Work, Self and Relationship. Journalist, David Brooks quotes Whyte in his book, The Second Mountain, and explains that anyone in the corporate world can find themselves on that slippery slope of the rat race.
Never underestimate the power of the environment you work in to gradually transform who you are. When you choose to work at a certain company, you are turning yourself into the sort of person who works in that company. Living life in a pragmatic, utilitarian manner turns you into a utilitarian pragmatist. The “how-do-I succeed” questions quickly eclipse the “why-am-I-doing-this” questions. Suddenly your conversation consists mostly of descriptions of how busy you are. Suddenly you’re a chilly mortal, going into hyper-people-pleasing mode anytime you’re around your boss.
As Dante Alighieri pondered at his midlife when he penned his epic poem, Divine Comedy, over 720 years ago, many of us dreaming of climbing the corporate ladder or building the next world-stopping unicorn, still end up in a dark wood, lost. Or as Brooks summarized, “you begin to view yourself not as a soul to be uplifted but as a set of skills to be maximized.”
But as Nate and Rebecca understood, lost souls can be found, sometimes by looking within, to a time when one was uplifted.
In his book, The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America, Whyte summons the Nobel Prize winning poet, Derek Walcott, who wrote of the joy upon reacquainting with the “stranger who was yourself.” Written with humility and grace, here is Walcott’s poem, Love after Love.
LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
ARTICLE FAQS
1. What makes the Ted Lasso scene in Season 3, Episode 10 significant?
The five-minute sequence links two storylines, Nate rediscovering his childhood love of music and Rebecca challenging football’s elite owners. By cutting between the two, the director shows how people can lose themselves in ambition or fear but find themselves again through values that once inspired them.
2. How does Nate Shelley’s story reflect the theme of losing and finding oneself?
Nate had professional success but lost his sense of self in arrogance and insecurity. After being dismissed, he retreats home, reconnects with childhood memories, and plays the violin. This moment signals a return to what gave him joy before status and external validation.
3. What is Rebecca Welton confronting in this episode?
Rebecca faces a room full of powerful football club owners who want to create a Super League for profit. As the only woman present, she questions whether they have forgotten why they loved football in the first place and argues against sacrificing meaning for money.
4. What larger message does the episode convey about work and ambition?
The scene echoes ideas from writers like David Whyte and David Brooks, who argue that people often lose themselves when work and success become their only focus. Professional environments can quietly shape individuals into pragmatists chasing utility rather than people asking deeper “why” questions.
5. Why is Dante’s “dark wood” referenced in the article?
The quote from Dante’s Divine Comedy symbolizes midlife disorientation, when ambition has not provided the fulfillment one expected. It connects with the episode’s theme that many professionals, despite success, feel lost until they reconnect with more authentic sources of meaning.
6. How does poetry relate to the themes in this Ted Lasso episode?
David Whyte and Derek Walcott both write about rediscovering the self that has been neglected in the pursuit of external achievement. Walcott’s “Love After Love” describes greeting oneself with joy after years of estrangement, a message that mirrors Nate’s and Rebecca’s rediscoveries.
